One to remember
It all started with an idea to just get out an explore some forest roads at night in the Tillamook State Forest, little did we know it would become something none of us will soon forget...
We all met up at the Shell Station on US6 about 6:45p Friday the 13th, the first sign of things to come. There were four trucks, 2 Range Rover Classics, a Toyota Tacoma and a Discovery II. The drivers were Danny and Tony in the Range Rovers, Jason in the Tacoma and myself and Brent along with my sheepdog Megan in the Disco II. We proceeded up US6 not knowing exactly what trails we were going to run, only that we were happy to be here as it was a very clear night. On the way up Brent scavenged through the Tillamook map trying to decide where we were going to go. It was finally decided that we would run the Archers firebreak trail that we had run a few weeks prior. It had been snowing a bit earlier this week so we expected the trail to look a little different this time around, plus it was pitch dark.
We hit the trailhead and a few of us decide to go ahead and air down just in case. We then head up past the prison camp towards our destination. After about 45 minutes of route finding and one turnaround we finally find our trail. I’m a little nervous because I was too lazy to take off the rooftop tent on my truck, my truck is now about 9 feet tall and has an extra 120lbs on the roof, worst possible location. We start up the Archers Firebreak with me clearing all the snow off of every possible branch thanks to my bulldozer of a rooftop tent. Really not to difficult stuff, just a lot of fun with the whoopty doos and a couple of small hillclimbs. The snow really is beautiful at night with the mystic forest as a backdrop.
At some point Tony took over the lead much to my happiness, at least they will partially clear some of the snow off of the branches for me;) He continues up the Archers Firebreak to what was to be the first real obstacle of the night. A pretty steep hill climb with 1-2 foot deep moguls at the very top. Everybody in front of me makes it pretty easily without much incident. I give it a try and as I crest the top thinking I’ve made it my ABS/Traction Control/Hill Decent light comes on stopping all forward momentum when a wheel starts to get air. Crap, three amigos at the most inopertune time. I literally had to back down and try again. After fiddling with things trying to get the lights off I finally just give up and decide to “Old School” it. I decided that speed was to be my friend on this one. I drop it into Low Range 2nd gear and give it some gas, once I reach the moguls I keep my foot into it catching about 2 feet of air under the drivers front tire, all the time banging the crap out of the passengers rear side of the bumper into the side of the trail. Made it!
At this point we continue down the trail for probably another 45 minutes to an hour, getting lost, finding our way again, getting lost again. We would take roads, clear massive trees only to find that the road was actually single track or an ATV trail not nearly wide enough for trucks. We were all content with this activity as it was great just to be in the Outdoors after what seems to be a seemingly long winter.
Around 12:00a or so it was decided that most were getting tired and we should head back down. I suspect we all initially thought we were at worse about 45 minutes of motoring down snow covered roads to get back to US Highway 6 which would take us all back to Portland.
Tony in his Range Rover Classic heads off with Danny in his RRC following. Jason in the Tacoma and Brent, Megan and myself follow along in the DII. Brent and I jam to Fleetwood Mac and have a lengthy discussion about the possibility of Bigfoot and some detailed accounts of sightings that I have memorized. (The truth is out there, just wasn't last night...) We come around the corner and see something odd, turns out the Jason was worried about us finding our way as he had lost sight of us and had started backing down the trail to wait for us. He didn’t notice the 2 foot hole on the embankment and accidentally put his passenger front tire into the hole, thereby raising the drivers rear tire about 1 foot off the ground. After a couple of pics, some ribbing and Brent hanging off the back of the truck we were on our way to catch the rest of the group. Brent and I led the way to catch up to Tony and Danny as they were making good time. It was about 15 minutes later when we come around a bend and notice 1 of the trucks facing our direction. Wondering where the other truck was once we pulled up I thought Tony had somehow found a trail about 80 feet below us. “Good he’s found a quicker way out” was my first thought. I soon noticed the tracks off the road and once out of my truck noticed he had a few (more than usual) bent body panels. I then look at the trail down and see an abyss of darkness where he apparently went off, “why is his truck facing up hill” was my second thought, followed by “Holy S**t!”. After using some skills I acquired from watching numerous CSI episodes I realized he slid off the road, possibly hitting the rear of the truck onto a 4-6’ diameter tree, which subsequently squared the truck up nose first pointing down the hill, only to hit the top of the berm (which was an Old Growth Tree, probably 5-6’ diameter with lots of dirt on one side) then plunged roughly 10 feet straight down only to hit the nose of the truck. Keep in mind when we found him the nose of the truck was pointing uphill… We then deduced that the truck did some acrobatics while airborne and somehow landed shiny side up (well not so shiny now) facing the top of the 60-80 enbankment. It would have most certainly earned him a "10" in the truck acrobatic olympics, if they existed.
Tony was miraculously OK, it seemed. After a little work trying to figure out how we could walk down to him, remember the 10 foot drop, we gave checked him out to make sure all was OK with the exception of a couple of gashes on his fingers. I really expected a head injury or something given the shape of the truck. We then proceed to take all the valuables we could out of the truck. After careful inspection of the area we discovered the “Snatch Block” in the path of destruction between the truck and the road. It somehow found it’s way out of the back of the truck, through one of the front windshields and onto dirt all the while missing Tony’s head and body. (Note to self, don’t be lazy, ALWAYS TIE EVERYTHING DOWN!). I’m not picking on Tony with this one, none of us had things tied down properly…
Now we are really ready to get out of here. It’s about 2:15a at this point. We load Tony up into the back of my truck and head down one of the many supposedly way out. We come around a corner and notice a pretty good mudslide across the river, then see the oddest thing. Unfortunately we took no pictures. There were 5-6 massive tree stumps laying in the road, almost like they were meticulously placed there for a reason. Being “Men” we decide this won’t stop us. We muster up enough manpower to make a path through these 3-6’ diameter stumps, build a trail with rocks around the really, really big one we can’t move and proceed to get the three vehicles through. About one hour later we’re all through. We then proceed down this road and comment on how “new” the road looks. “Wait, this has to have been built within the last few weeks” we’re saying in the truck. Our suspicions were soon confirmed when we encounter the Trackhoe that was building/repairing the road and discover that past the trackhoe, no road exists… Dang, we have to go back… Again! Turning everyone around, back through the Tree Stump Mirror/rock crawling obstacle and down another road that should lead us out. Follow road for about 20 minutes, find it’s impassible, Repeat
9 Step plan to ending a Tillamook Snow Night Run:
Step 1
Follow road that you think will lead you out.
Step 2
Encounter first, of many, obstacles. Can be downed trees, road washout, vehicles falling off of cliffs.
Step 3
Remove said obstacles, exceptions include: Trucks, mountains, very, very large trees or clowns.
Step 4
Repeat steps 3 & 4 several more times, then proceed to step 5.
Step 5
Come to the realization that even though you “might” be ½ mile from your goal, you could actually still be 10 miles.
Step 6
Decide to turn around and find road in Plan B to get you home.
Step 7
Repeats steps 1-6, several more times. Details may be different each time, but outcome is the same. Proceed to step 8.
Step 8
Eventually break out maps and GPS and catch a break. We got up here on a road, surely we can get down the same way.
Step 9
Find highway!
About 5:00a we finally hit the main highway. We’re exhausted! We pawn Tony off to Jason in the Tacoma as he lives closer and Tony wouldn’t let us just drop him off at the highway nearest to his house, he actually had the nerve to think we would take him all the way to his front door!!! ;)
Head down to the Shell station, which is open. Find out they’re closed from 8p-5a. Find it humorous that we essentially were their last customer last night, Friday the 13th and are their first customers on the morning of Saturday the 14th!
End of adventure.
I must say this was one night that I will likely never forget. And with the exception of Tony literally totalling his vehicle, it was very fun. I applaud everyone’s attitude and determination throughout the night. It would have been very easy, and understandable, if anyone would have gotten frustrated and a bit cranky. This did not happen at all! Everyone kept their head on and we made good decisions as a group.
After last night, funny thing is, today, Saturday afternoon as I drive around I keep thinking to myself “Most people really don’t live life, they just seem to go through the motions going from one day to the next”. I feel like with adventures like Friday night we are living just a little fuller life than most.